Question: I am 68, and my wife is 58. I am retired and receive income from both Social Security and my military pension. She is unemployed. After 35 years of marriage, she has left and says she wants alimony and property. Will the court consider my monthly Social Security check in giving her support? How about in dividing property?

Answer: While the Social Security Act provides that monthly payments are not subject to garnishment, attachment, and other legal processes, there is an exception to this rule when it comes to payment of child support and alimony obligations. "Child support and alimony obligations" have been defined to include attorney's fees, interest and court costs depending on the wording of a decree issued by a court with jurisdiction. Therefore, your Social Security payments will be considered to be income to you when it comes to your wife's claim for alimony, but not when it comes to dividing property. And for those of you who have children, most state child support guidelines include Social Security as a source of income in making the calculations.

Question: After 40+ years of marriage and three grown children, I have had it with my husband. He comes home at 8 pm on the weekdays after several drinks at the office, eats supper, sits in his chair, goes to sleep, gets up the next morning, and goes to work. On the weekends, he plays golf and leaves me alone or watches television and expects me to wait on him and feed him and his friends. We haven’t had a meaningful conversation in years.

I am 67, in relatively good health, and have a college degree, but I have not been employed outside the home for years. He is an engineer six years younger than me. We have a relatively nice home, cars, and some investments. He has a retirement plan; I don't. When my father died four years ago, I inherited land and money that my husband insisted I put in his name. He refuses to leave or go to go to counseling. I saw a lawyer who told me if I left, I would be a deserter. Help.

Answer: While the legal answer to your cry for help will depend on the law of your state of residence, the practical answer is the same no matter where you live: Unless there is a clear and present danger that makes staying in the home a danger to you, before you walk out the door, make sure you have a plan in place.

In some states, you must be able to prove a ground for divorce or good reason for leaving in order to avoid a charge of desertion; in others, not. Regardless, if the marriage is over, especially at your age, you should not make the drastic decision to leave until you get your economic house in order.

When you put your inheritance into your joint names, you transmuted what otherwise would have been a separate asset into a marital asset which must be dealt with. Your husband's professional practice or business should be valued. Make yourself a budget of what it will cost you to live alone. Contact a realtor and become familiar with the cost of various apartment, condominium, and housing alternatives. Find out how you will handle the cost of your medical bills that are not covered by Medicare, not to mention long term care insurance.

Consider contacting a financial planner to help you develop an outline of what you and your husband own and what kind of income you should get from your share of the assets. And remember: If you purchase a home or automobile, you will have less money that can be invested and earn for you. While we understand that you feel you need to leave, these decisions are not to be taken lightly, especially if you are not prepared financially to make the move.