Question: I was widowed last year after 49 years of marriage and two grown sons who, between them, have given us five grandchildren. My husband’s will left everything to me, so I sold my home, took the proceeds, bought some certificates of deposit, and put the rest in money market accounts. I also sold the 150-acre hunting preserve my husband inherited from his uncle, and kept the 220-acre farm I inherited from my family. If you add it all up, I probably have $1 million in assets with most of it being cash.

I moved closer to my older son with the intention of buying a patio home. My son suggested to me that I protect myself in case some “young lifeguard” came in and swept me off my feet, but since I am pushing 75, I don’t think there is much chance I will remarry and since I am overweight, it would take a big guy to sweep me off my feet.

My goal, and that of my husband, was always to make sure that both of our sons and their children were treated equally. I bought the patio home for $200,000 and, at my son’s suggestion, used a lawyer for the closing who had handled my son’s businesses. My older son took me and sat with me during the meeting.

For reasons then unknown to me, the lawyer put the deed to my patio home in my name and my older son’s name “for safekeeping”. He told me to put my older son’s name on all of my bank accounts and CD’s, not to mention my farm. He told me that by doing this, I would not need a will or a power of attorney and could save those fees. He also told me that my son would share everything with his brother after I died.

I really did not understand what was happening while I was there, but since I have had time to read the documents, I think I have figured it out, and I am burning mad. Now my son will not talk to me, and the lawyer is too busy to see me for at least six months. I didn’t re-title my farm or accounts, but my patio home has been deeded in my name and my older son’s (it says “Joint Owner With Right of Survivorship”), which I have learned is a problem. Is there anything I can do to straighten this out?

Answer: What appears to have happened here is that the lawyer prepared the deed to the patio home jointly to you and your older son with right of survivorship. This means, in effect, that when you die, your patio home will automatically become your older son’s property. In other words, even if you had a will leaving the patio home to both of your children, your older son will still own it. And if your older son dies before you, you would receive it.

To make matters worse, by taking the deed in this fashion, you have made an immediate gift to your older son of an amount equal to one-half of the purchase price ($100,000) and will be required to file a gift tax return. And while no gift tax is currently due, this is not what you intended.

You have also taken on your older son as a “partner” in this property, meaning that if you want to sell it, you may be able to recover only half of your investment because he owns half the property – another unintended result. But on the bright side, your son is responsible for his share of the taxes, insurance, and other obligations associated with the property

What to do? You can probably break the right of survivorship and convert ownership into tenants in common -- even if your son does not agree to do so – by certain transfers or other acts that comply with the law of your state of residence. You may even be able to partition the property – that is, sell it and receive half of the proceeds.

Taking the NextStep: Yours is a perfect example of why not to have a lawyer represent you who also represents other family members. Since you have other assets, and since it is apparent that your Number One Son is out for himself at your and his brother’s expense, you might consider selling the patio home, getting your half of the proceeds just in case, leaving your older son with his half of the equity, and moving to another area. There, since you have been “property schooled”, use your experience to purchase another patio home in your name with your younger son as joint owner with right of survivorship, and title all of your other assets so that your younger son gets them all when you die.