Question: My brother and his family have been spending a lot of money that I did not know he had, and although I wondered where he was getting it, but I did not ask. Several weeks ago, I learned quite by accident that after our mother - now 78 - began having problems handling her affairs, my brother -- who holds her power of attorney -- began making gifts to himself of the money she inherited from my father -- about $250,000.

All that's left is her home which is worth less than $75,000 and in desperate need of repair. When I confronted him, my brother told me that our mother's lawyer had advised him to do this in order to save estate taxes and to make sure Mom would qualify for Medicaid when it was time for her to go to the nursing home. He also said that the plan was to give me my share later. I don't want to start a family feud or appear greedy, but I do wonder why, if these gifts were found to be necessary, my brother didn't give equal amounts to me like Mom's will says everything will be divided after her death. Can I get her money back?

Answer: While inconsistent, your brother's story is not unusual for those who financially exploit vulnerable adults. First of all, if your mother's estate is valued at less than $650,000, there will be no estate taxes. Second, if your mother applies for Medicaid today, the gifts made within 36 months before the date of the application will result in significant disqualification. And we're sure no lawyer worth his or her salt advised your brother to handle your mother's assets in this fashion.

That said, you should get a copy of your mother's power of attorney which should be recorded in your local courthouse and make sure it expressly gives your brother the power to make gifts of her property to himself. If not, the gifts are void. If so, it still appears to use that there may be financial abuse of a vulnerable adult. What should you do? Approach your brother and try to discuss the situation with him. Since the primary goal is to assure that your mother is properly cared for, we believe that your brother should return your mother's money to her and resign as agent under her power of attorney.

If he does not agree, we suggest that you hire an attorney who can bring conservatorship proceedings on your behalf in your local probate or surrogate court. In this way, you can not only take over your mother's finances, but also collect what is due her from your brother. You may want to contact local law enforcement about what appears to be serious case of elder abuse.

Question: Some years after my father died, my mother, then age 67, married a man five years her senior. Because she had inherited everything my father left and was the beneficiary of his life insurance, everyone though it would be a good idea when she and my stepfather signed a premarital agreement in which each agreed to waive all claims to division of the other's property.

Two years after they married, my stepfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. My mother cared for him at home for nearly three years -- until it was necessary to admit him to a nursing facility. By that time, since most of his assets had been spent on his care, my mother applied for Medicaid. Although my stepfather now receives only Social Security of about $950 per month, his Medicaid application was turned down because of my mother's income and assets -- even though they had a premarital agreement. Because an economic rift has developed, his family got involved and his son stepped in, became his guardian, and sued my mother for support - which was granted despite their premarital agreement.

This has caused a big crimp in my mother finances, and I can't understand why my mother should be required to pay support which, in turn, goes to the nursing home when she and my stepfather had a premarital agreement?

Answer: There are at least two very serious problems here: 1) Based on the description you give, the premarital agreement dealt with "property division," not "support rights." Without addressing support specifically, the agreement would not appear to bar support. And even if it did, dependent upon where you live, a waiver of support might be a violation of public policy. 2) Even though your stepfather waived property rights in the premarital agreement, this is not binding upon the Medicaid people in your state who were not parties to that agreement.

Bottom Line: Depending on the totality of the circumstances and despite an agreement to the contrary between your mother and step-father, your mother will probably remain liable for your stepfather's long term care from her income and assets, subject to certain limits imposed in your state of residence.