October 2, 2000

Estate Talk
Estate Planning Isn't Just About Taxes and Assets

Many taxpayers who implement estate plans get caught up in the numbers and the tools and forget about the responsibility of deciding who should receive personal items. Often, disagreements over a deceased loved one’s personal property—even items with little monetary value—can cause grievous damage to the relationships of the survivors.

In cases where the parents have children from previous marriages, this aspect of estate planning becomes all-the-more important. Trouble often arises between the children and the new spouse, who may believe he or she should inherit all of the deceased spouse’s property. If that occurs, items that are sentimentally important to the deceased spouse’s children may eventually end up with relatives of the new spouse. Expect a fight in that situation.

Parents and grandparents should communicate with their heirs about their personal items and make no assumptions about any object’s sentimental value to a child. Oftentimes a seemingly valueless item can become a child’s most precious keepsake. Communication is the only way to know who really wants your Cubs hat, or who would be the most upset if someone else received your recliner.

Keeping a written list of who should get what can minimize the risk of fractures within the family. Verbal promises are more easily forgotten, and parents sometimes inadvertently tell multiple children that they should receive a certain item. Also, greedy children may make unfounded and unenforceable claims that the parent promised something to them, causing conflict among the heirs. A legally enforceable document executed by the parent leaves little room for argument.

Here are a few keys to make such a list more effective:

• Include pictures and descriptions of items;
• Make reference to the list in the will (or, in states where such a list is not allowed, include the list directly in the will);
• In cases where children from previous marriages exist, each spouse should sign irrevocable declarations relinquishing ownership to the assets the other spouse wishes to bequeath to his or her children;
• Make a videotaped record explaining your instructions concerning each item.