"Introduction To Mediation"

Excerpted From
A Practical Guide To Family Mediation For The Divorce Lawyer, Mediator, and Client (see the related product link to order)Available only through Flying Solo, "A Practical Guide to Family Mediation For The Divorce Lawyer, Mediator, and Client" is a brief, practical guide to the matrimonial mediation process that gives you the information you need in order a) to decide if you wish to engage in mediation and, if so, b) to have a successful mediation.

It is also a guide for divorcing and divorced couples who are engaged in the task of parenting together. The skills learned from this book -- and the available training -- will not only help when couples participate in mediation, but will also provide couples with skills through which they will be more apt to resolve conflict after mediation.

Though the process of mediation relies heavily on the skills of a mediator, those involved in a matrimonial dispute can increase the likelihood of a mediated agreement by properly preparing beforehand. A successful mediation is one in which decisions are made by both parties regarding the division of property, debt, parenting and support. This is the "what" of mediation. However, reaching these decisions requires an understanding of the "how" of mediation. This means preparing for the mediation by learning how to effectively communicate your concerns and needs together, then negotiating an agreement which meets your interests as well as your spouse or former spouses.

Learning these skills can produce an agreement, constructed by the two of you, which is equitable, fair and durable. It can also be a beginning to an easier working relationship in the future.


Divorce is not a single event; it is an on-going process, often lasting years. It takes longer than most people expect. Behind death, divorce is the second highest life stressor. But many believe it's even more stressful to continue to deal with an ex-spouse, especially when children are involved. Like most life crises, divorce is a potential for growth and positive change, but the experience is often painful and should not be minimized.