Question: I was divorced six months ago after a bitter custody proceeding concerning our five year old daughter and four year old son. After the court granted me primary custody, my ex-husband has been infuriated and swears that he will get even. During our ten-year marriage, he has worked in the construction business throughout the world, and I am concerned that he will quit his job, grab the children, and take off to who knows where. After reading about the Massachusetts case recently, I have become more concerned. My lawyer tells me that nothing can be done based on my feelings. He also says there is a federal law to help me, but my ex must first do something. It seems to me that there should be some preventative steps that I can take. Do you have any suggestions, or am I just being paranoid?
Answer: With 350,000 children per year reportedly kidnapped, we don't think you are being paranoid under these circumstances. And, according to a practical writing titled "What To Do If You Are Concerned That Your Child Might Be Kidnapped," there are things you can do now. Written by Gerald L. Nissenbaum, a noted matrimonial lawyer from Boston, and published by the Special Projects Office of the Public Administration Service, this work provides practical information that will help prevent kidnappings and, if a kidnapping occurs, may help effect a speedy recovery of your child.
Although we do not have sufficient space to provide you with everything contained in this well-written document which recognizes that most left-behind parents have limited resources and legal assistance can be expensive, here are some tips.
Put two copies of each of the following in two separate locations so they are available.
Several recent color photographs of the child and parents. Take photo's frequently because, as the child grows, his or her appearance often changes dramatically.
Description and photographs of any scars or unusual physical characteristics along with height, weight, hair and eye color.
Your child's fingerprints. Ask your local police department to take fingerprints and to give you the copies.
Passport numbers and the countries that issued them as to your former husband and the children.
Driver's license numbers and automobile registrations, serial numbers, type and model of vehicles driven by your former husband.
Credit cards, bank accounts, and social security numbers of both the children and your former husband.
The names and numbers of negotiable securities and bonds which may be held for your children along with the names of stock brokers and the numbers on brokerage accounts. You can get these from your divorce file.
All Individual Retirement Accounts (IRAs) and other retirement accounts, including the name of the bank, mutual fund, etc. that holds these accounts.
Any information about any other asset that may be easily converted to cash, such as jewelry, oriental rugs, and expensive camera equipment. If possible, take photographs of each item.
Names, addresses, and telephone numbers of your spouse's family members and close friends.
Magazine and other subscriptions, including account numbers and who has control of the change of address process.
The location of the local post office where a change of address can be filed for your former husband's address.
Although you may never have to use any of these items, it is better to have them and never use them than to not have them should the need arise. Even if your child is kidnapped by someone other than your spouse, these items will be needed by and useful to the police.
This writing also contains information about what to do if you think your marriage is in trouble; how to ask that passports not be issued; what to do to try to avoid kidnapping; where to find resources.
In a special arrangement with Flying Solo, this booklet is available to our readers for $7.95 per copy which is the cost of duplication, mailing, and fulfillment. To receive your copy, send your mailing address and your check for $7.95 payable to "Kidnap" to Flying Solo at P.O.Box 11704, Columbia, South Carolina 29211. Portions are available on our website at http://www.flyingsolo.com under "Divorce and Separation" and "General Divorce".
Jan Collins is an award-winning writer and editor. Jan Warner is a matrimonial, elder, and tax lawyer. Please send your questions by e-mail to jan warner@flyingsolo.com or by mail to P.O.Box 11704, Columbia, South Carolina 29211.
