Question: As a part of our estate planning several years ago, my husband transferred a $500,000 policy of insurance on his life to our daughter. Each year, we made gifts of the premium to her so that, on his death, she could pay estate taxes. We did this because I had been ill and there was a fear that I would die before my husband. Shortly after her marriage last year, she was killed in an automobile accident. We were shocked to find out that her will left everything to her husband and he now owns this insurance policy. We have talked to him, and he has no interest in our estate tax problems, but does not want to give us back the policy even though he can not afford to pay the premiums. My husband is no longer insurable. Is there anything we can do?

Answer: Oftentimes insurance is used to defray or pay estate taxes but, without proper planning, the policy can become a windfall for in-laws, as you are unfortunately finding out.

The purpose of your transfer of the policy to your daughter was so that the tax-free proceeds from the policy upon your husband's death could be used to pay estate taxes. An irrevocable insurance trust would probably have been a better vehicle, but it's too late for that now.

Although there may be a moral issue here and although we feel you should consult with a lawyer who can give you a full opinion, we believe that you will have a difficult time legally. Since your former son-in-law can not afford to pay the premiums, you might think about trying to negotiate a purchase of policy from him; however, you should remember that if the policy is owned by your husband at his death, the proceeds may generate an estate tax liability of up to 55, or even 60, percent. At the same time, if you purchase the policy and then predecease your husband, the same thing can happen.

Question: Having seen how badly some of my friends have been treated by lawyers and the courts, when I decided to get a divorce, I wanted to make sure that I found a lawyer who was right to help me. I have called many, checked their credentials, and tried to find references. This has kept me running from one blind alley to another. Do you have any tips or are there any criteria or rules I should know about?

A: Unlike accountants or family doctors, lawyers are often used in crisis situations and for specific tasks -- like divorce. With more than 1 million lawyers in the United States, it doesn't seem that finding one would be difficult. But you, like many others, are finding out to the contrary.

Competence in the matrimonial field and a reputation for staying on top of a case are important, but difficult to determine up front. Reputation in a particular field is probably the best indicator but, at the same time, a lawyer whom a friend recommends may not be the best one for you.