Question (by e-mail): When my husband and I divorced three and a half years ago after ten years of marriage, the family court ordered him to pay $350 each month as support for our son, now age 14. Two years ago, at age 53, he had a stroke and stopped working, but continued to pay child support from his Social Security disability income. A year ago, he entered a nursing home, and began receiving Medicaid benefits several months ago when he ran out of assets. The state Medicaid agency has ruled that except for about $30 per month, all of his income must be used to contribute toward the cost of his long-term care. This ruling comes despite the fact that there is a family court order requiring him to make the child support payments. My ex is appealing this ruling, and my lawyer tells me "they can't do this" and says he will cite my former husband for contempt in hopes of resolving this - even though my ex is trying to cooperate with us. But, in the meantime, what can I do to make sure my son gets support?

Answer: Here we have the family court and state Medicaid agency in conflict over whether your former husband will pay child support or long-term care. When your ex began receiving Medicaid benefits, using federal guidelines, the state Medicaid agency determines what, if anything, can be deducted from the his "available income" which - other than a minimal monthly stipend that varies from state to state - must be applied toward the cost of long-term care. Although child support may be an allowable deduction in some states, it is not in yours. And, based on federal court determinations and positions taken by the Secretary of Health and Human Services, a divorced Medicaid recipient's "available income" may include that which was used to pay court-ordered child support. For that reason, we don't think your former husband's appeal will be successful.

Your options: Contact your local Social Security office as your son may be entitled to draw benefits on your former husband's work record now that he is drawing a disability benefit. The situation in which you and your son find yourselves again points up the need to plan at the time of divorce. Had your former husband been required to maintain a disability policy to secure the child support award - or had you purchased such a policy, you would have been better protected. And had your former husband purchased long-term care insurance, you and your son would have been much better protected. Your lawyer's "solution" of citing a disabled individual for contempt will not solve your problem. Check out http://www.flyingsolo.com under "Elderly and Disabled" for more practical information about long-term care.

SoloResource: The Family Law Section of the American Bar Association has available eight audiotapes for public information which we highly recommend: "Effectively Communicating with Your Attorney," "Understanding Divorce-A Glossary of Terms," "Understanding the Stages of Your Case," "Understanding Discovery," "Preparing for Your Deposition," "Moving Toward Economic Security - Support and Property Division," "Preparing for Your Day In Court," and "Understanding Custody and Visitation." Each program is $6.70. All eight programs can be purchased for $38.00. To order, send a check payable to Family Advocate Information to P.O.Box 11704, Columbia, South Carolina 29211, and we'll make sure you receive them.