You've probably heard the phrase "We're separated" a hundred times, but never - until now - wondered what it really meant. This chapter will tell you what a separation agreement can do for you and what it can't.

It is a contract between a husband and wife in which they agree to resolve such matters as property division, debts, custody and support when they separate from each other.

It is best to have an attorney prepare one for you.

Yes. The two of you can agree upon a division of property in your separation agreement and that agreement will be binding. The property to be divided consists of real property (such as land and the buildings on it), tangible personal property (such as cars, jewelry and furniture) and intangible personal property (such as bank accounts, stocks and bonds, vested pensions and life insurance.)

The law does not require a couple to execute a separation agreement, but it is a wise idea if there are debts, children, support claims or property involved and the parties want to settle these matters in writing.

An "agreement" means that both parties sign voluntarily. You cannot compel your spouse to sign a separation agreement or to agree to the terms you wish to impose on him or her in the agreement.

Some states have provisions in their laws which might make divorce faster or easier if there is a separation agreement.

Yes. The general rule is that the parent who has custody for more than half the year will claim the exemption, but the custodial parent may waive the exemption by signing the declaration on IRS Form 8332. The non-custodial parent attaches the declaration to his or her tax return and claims the exemption for the child.

No. It is not contempt of court to violate a separation agreement unless the agreement has been made a part of a court order. Contempt of court is the failure to obey a court order without legal justification. You may, however, sue your spouse for breach of contract if he or she violates the separation agreement.

No. A separation agreement is only a contract between spouses. It cannot bind third parties (such as banks or finance companies) that have not signed it. If, however, your spouse promises to pay a bill and then breaks that promise, resulting in your having to pay, you can then sue your spouse for breach of contract for the amount of money you had to pay.

While separation agreements usually have a non-harassment clause in them, you should understand that no piece of paper - be it agreement or court order - is going to stop a person from doing something he or she wants to do. If the problem is one of physical violence, a court order would be more effective than a separation agreement and could be used to punish the wrongdoer if he or she violated the order.

No. The terms you include for child support, custody and visitation can always be altered or modified by the court in the best interests of the children. In the absence of proof to the contrary, however, there is a presumption that the terms concerning the children in your agreement are fair, reasonable and necessary for the best interests and welfare of the children.

Unlike the terms concerning children, which are always modifiable by the court, the terms in a separation agreement that pertain to adults cannot be modified by the court except in very limited circumstances.

It is always best to have two attorneys involved, one to advise each partner. In this way, the husband and the wife both know that they have received independent legal advice for their individual situation from a lawyer who does not have a conflict of interest in trying to represent two clients with different goals and needs.