At a time when so much seems and is out of your control, one area very much within your control is organizing the paper trail and the record-keeping. Not only will you feel better, you will objectively minimize negative consequences in the divorce process. Being able to find what you want when you want it puts you in charge.

Organizing Documents

Start by setting up a filing system that makes sense to you and to your life. You will expand and modify the system as needed. Identify one central location for all documents both active and historical records. Centralizing everything immediately reduces stress, saves time hunting, and saves money spent on replacing something you can't find.

Often there is a tendency to lose or misplace things such as wallets and handbags while going through a divorce. Take a few minutes to list everything in your wallet or handbag that will require action if it is lost.

If you already have a file cabinet, empty one drawer completely. If you don't have or want a file cabinet, use a container that will hold letter-size hanging folders. This may be anything from a heavy-duty cardboard carton to a portable plastic filing tub. These products are readily available at most office supply dealers.

Purchase a supply of letter-size hanging folders and interior file folders, one box of each containing three or four colors to get started. Although there will be legal documents, they can be folded into a more manageable size. Color-code your system using either different colored folders or just different colored plastic title tabs. The color is useful when scanning the files later. Assign each major area of your files its own color green for financial files, red for legal files, yellow for files relating to children, and so on.

When first setting up the filing system, begin with broad title headings so you have a place for any paper sorted from any current pile. Title the files in ways that make sense to you. It's your filing system. Don't think too long about how to title a file: what comes to mind first is what will come to mind first again when you are looking for a document. Use a noun as the key word followed by a clear adjective as needed: write "Checks "1990/92" not "Old Checks."

Once a folder has one to one-and-one-half inches of paper in it, sort it into subheadings and create another file within the same colored section. For example: a file originally titled "House" may subdivide into "House Sale," "House Repairs," and "House Contents." "Finances" might be a beginning folder, later subdividing into "Finances - Before 1993," "Finances - 1993," and "Finances - Future." Avoid using words like "current," "old" or "miscellaneous." They don't tell you much when you want to find something quickly or when you're under stress.

By assigning a color to each major area of your life and starting with broad title headings, the system can expand easily and sensibly as needed. Keep a small inventory of supplies on hand so your system can be accurately and consistently maintained.

File all paper as quickly as possible so you can retrieve it easily when you need it. Filing is often best done at a low-energy time, when you still feel you want to be doing something without a lot of effort.

Keeping Track of Conversations

Another system to create or streamline is your Rolodex, card file or address book. Tracking who you talked to, what you told them and when you contacted them can add a level of stability to the transitional process. Make a note right on the Rolodex or card file or in your address book using a colored pen so you see it quickly and easily. Keep your notation simple and yet complete: "6/9/93 - divorce & new address, will help pack; "6/10/93 - divorce & new address -- has job lead." Even if you typically have a good memory, there's no need to tax it unnecessarily especially now.

The calendar is a vital tool during this record-keeping process. Beyond entering appointments it is the ideal place to track events and pace any tasks you need to handle. Set appointments with yourself especially for accomplishing any large projects. Make a half-hour date with yourself to pack or to read the literature from several choices of schools for your children or any other large project requiring bite-size pieces to ultimately get the job done. [Organizing divorce-related paperwork

Assisting Your Attorney

Keep a running list of questions and ideas for your attorney so that both your phone calls and your appointments will be time and money well spent. After speaking with your attorney, make notes of each conversation, including the date, time, and subject matter. Be sure to mark your calendar with the dates and times of future meetings<m>this will serve as a reminder and a permanent record.

If you typically use an organizer or calendar book product, create two lists each day: "phone calls to be made/answered" and "things to do." As each activity is completed, highlight the item so you can still read it later. Looking at a highlighted list gives you clear evidence that you are accomplishing things at a time when you might not be so sure. Maintaining these lists also provides a record of what you have already accomplished, again, without challenging your memory.

The phone call and task lists can also be tracked in a spiral bound notebook. Use a spiral bound notebook rather than a glued pad of paper so both sides of the page are available and the pages stay in the book. Do not tear out pages on which you have written. That will destroy the reliability of this system.

Be sure to date each page so you have a timely frame of reference. Include the year somewhere at the beginning of the book. Be sure you use only one spiral notebook at a time or you will defeat the purpose of centralizing information. When one spiral notebook is full, file it for future reference.

The calendar or spiral notebook is also a good place to jot down notes of phone conversations while they are happening. The reliability of noting this information can be very useful later in ways often impossible to anticipate.

If there are other systems that would be useful to you that have not been discussed here, experiment with creating your own. The single rule to guide you is this: ask yourself the question "where would I look to find this information or item?" That question will provide the answer for any organizing task you have. It will tell you where to physically store anything and how to title it.

Being organized and being in control boils down to the ability to find what you want when you want it. You can take charge of this part of the transition simply and economically, eliminating much of the chaos at an otherwise chaotic time.

About the Author

Paulette Ensign, M.S. in Education, is president of Organizing Solutions, Inc. in Bedford Hills, New York, and a board member of the National Association of Professional Organizers. She shares her expertise through activities as a consultant, writer, and speaker. From Margorie Engel’s "Divorce Help Sourcebook."