Question: I have been miserable in my marriage for the past ten years, maybe even longer. But I have been afraid to leave home for fear that I will be financially devastated, lose my health insurance, and lose my children since I am bi-polar and undergo regular treatment. I would like to find a good information source so I can decide if leaving my husband will work for me. Are there any good surveys out there that you know about?

Answer: Your question – and similar questions from a number of our readers -- brings up some areas that, in our 575 words, we would like to talk about.

For some reason, many of us feel more comfortable making difficult decisions if we believe that we may be doing what others around us are doing. Although no two sets of facts are the same, it is truly astounding to believe that some folks would decide whether or not to leave their spouses based on what a majority of those participating in a poll might do – especially without knowing who is participating in the poll or the extent of those people’s problems

That said, in researching your question, we learned quite a lot. For example, while the number of divorces each year is certainly predictable, so is the fact that, according to one survey, nearly half of all participants who marry had doubts about their decision before saying “I do”, but said it anyway.

And, according to another poll, more than half of those married for less than one year say marriage was more difficult than they expected, and more than half thought their union would not last.

Those of us who have been “through it” know that divorce is expensive. There is a survey that pegs the cost of each person’s lawyer at more than $5,000 per person – in addition to fees for accountants and associated costs.

As a “growth industry” that creates more than 2 million single households per year, another survey projects that divorced people make up more than 25 percent of all households in America. And, with each new singles household comes double the needs for banking, insurance, mortgages, loans, renting apartments and houses, and otherwise plowing money back into the economy. Some call divorce “big business” because of the division of pensions and other assets, plus the needs of double the number of households.

And don’t forget that divorce is a feeding ground for the therapy industry because, in nearly every case where there are custody disputes, everyone is going to get evaluated by a mental health clinician who commands rather large hourly rates, not to mention accountants and other experts who benefit from the marital split. And, divorce prevention courses are now available in some states at a cost of more than $2,500 per couple.

There are countless new books out there each year that use the word “divorce" to sell that information resource, not to mention websites galore.

Even AARP has featured an article about divorce and middle age that can be found on its website.

Bottom Line: We think you can probably find a survey or poll that will fit any position you may wish to take. Rather than putting your hands on the Ouija Board and taking pot luck, however, we suggest you take stock of your situation and, with the help of professionals, carve out your own niche.