Question: I am 61. I got married for the second time a little more than three years ago. My husband is 58 and makes more than $100,000 per year. I was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy when I was 51, and my husband knew about it. He had me drop my old insurance coverage because he said it was too expensive, and he included me on his health plan at work. My award of alimony from my first husband, of course, stopped. Then, six months ago, my current husband left me. He has been voluntarily paying all of my bills and is keeping me covered on the health plan at his work. Two months ago, he began seeing another woman, and told me he wanted a divorce.

I am concerned about my future because I have not worked in 15 years and did not work at all during the time we were together. I will not be eligible for Social Security until next year, and then at a reduction of what I would receive at age 65. I will not be eligible for Medicare until I turn 65. I only have the home where we were living and $22,000 in savings. I need $2,500 per month plus health coverage and medicine. I want to a lawyer who told me that since we were married for such a short time, she did not think I would get much help from him. What are my chances of getting help after the divorce, money-wise, to help me live?

Answer: While a judge is the final arbiter of what you get or don’t get, the decision made will be in a court of equity, meaning that the judge has broad discretion to fashion a remedy that applies the facts of your particular case to the law of your state. That said, we don’t know if we particularly agree with your lawyer’s assessment. First of all, the length of your marriage is only one factor to be considered. Second, the fact that he has voluntarily been paying you can be construed as an admission on his part that he knows you need help. Third, because of your illness, it is unlikely that you will find employment or, for that matter, health coverage. Fourth, your husband had you drop good health coverage and understood that your alimony was being terminated. To us, these seem like compelling facts that justify support. We suggest that you do nothing so long as he continues to pay you a sufficient amount of money voluntarily. And, find another lawyer.

Question: My fiancé and I have been planning to marry for a year, he for the second time and me for the first. He is 41, and I am 44. I work in a personal services business, and have acquired about $200,000 in assets. He owns a couple of companies. I have gladly agreed to move from my locale, which means leaving my job ($60,000 annually) and security, to be with him and to travel with him. I thought everything was okay until -- just four weeks before our marriage -- he presented me with a premarital agreement from his lawyer that basically says that regardless of the length of the marriage, I get nothing if we divorce. He says his first wife took him to the cleaners. I don’t think this is fair, but he has been wearing me down. I have spent more than $15,000 getting ready for the wedding. I am torn about whether to go through with this or not.


Answer: While we won’t discourage you from marrying the man of your dreams, the economic and emotional nightmare that could follow is certainly something to be considered. To us, the timing of the premarital agreement, and the manner in which it was foisted upon you, is reason for concern. If he really wants to protect his assets, and if you are willing to negotiate, why not tell him that for each year (or part of a year) that you and he live together, at his death -- or if you divorce -- he (or his estate) will pay you one and a half times annual gross income ($90,000). In other words, if you and he live together for three years, he or his estate will pay you $270,000. He can secure your entitlement with property or, if he dies, with a large insurance policy. While this is only a suggestion, in today’s difficult economic times, if you don’t protect yourself, no one will.