Question: I begrudgingly signed a settlement agreement right before we divorced last month, and, true to my luck, nothing has gone right since, even though we now have a court order. My mistake was agreeing to joint custody, which requires cooperation with my ex-husband – and this is impossible. My new lawyer (the old one won’t see me again) says the wording is so vague that it’s not worth the paper it’s written on. I am distressed that even with astronomical legal fees, I ended up with nothing.

Answer: While one of the major reasons to settle the issues in a matrimonial case is to be able to include terms that hopefully will avoid post-divorce litigation, unfortunately, this is not always possible because of sloppy draftsmanship or failure to include specific provisions.

While we have not seen your agreement and would hesitate to pass judgment, there is no question that post-divorce litigation can be difficult and expensive, especially when important terms are so vague that they are not enforceable by contempt or otherwise.

When it comes to joint custody – or custody and visitation, for that matter -- there should be clear, unambiguous, and unequivocal language in the agreement that defines, among other things, (1) who has the children when and for how long, (2) who has what decision-making authority about major issues like health, etc., (3) that both parents have access to children’s school and medical records, (4) relocation issues, (5) who makes support contributions and when, (6) how post-high school educational obligations will be handled, if at all, (7) modification of child support, and 8) who gets the dependency exemptions. Some agreements even go so far as to require mediation of disputes before litigation.

While routine clauses calling for “cooperation” may make parents feel better when they sign, boilerplate language generally will not be enforceable by contempt because it is vague and subject to a number of interpretations.

Our suggestion: Try to go back to the drawing board with your ex-husband to see if your agreement can be salvaged. If not, get ready to strap on your saddle again.

Question: My husband was in arrears in both child support ($8,000) and alimony ($7,000,) and then paid $4,000 right before the end of last year. He just notified me that he had deducted the $4,000 on his income tax return, which means that I will have to amend my tax return and pay additional taxes. My tax preparer tells me there’s nothing I can do about it.

Answer: Your tax preparer is incorrect. If an individual owes both child support and alimony and makes a payment equal to or less than the amount of child support due, the amount paid will be treated as child support, which is not taxable to you and not deductible to him. Go to a CPA and let the IRS and state taxing authorities know what is going on.

SoloFact: Before you go to a lawyer with your domestic problems, take the time to analyze your family's spending and earning history. List all of your assets with both cost and market values. Your tax returns can be a treasure map to show where the hidden assets may be buried. You will save costly attorney and expert witness fees if you get your records together ahead of time. It's much less expensive to do this before the separation than after.