Question: My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have no children of the kind you often write about. We are headed for separation and divorce, but have a major dispute on our hands: Both of us want our eight-year-old cockatoo named Sara. We both spent time training her, but by far, I spent the most. My husband travels and Sara appears to be upset with him when he is gone for several days at a time. On the other hand, I live near my work and get home at lunch to be with Sara. My husband is going to move into an apartment, and I am looking to keep the house. I have not seen a lawyer yet. Please don’t use my name.

Answer: While we never use our readers’ names, this is the first request we have ever received about a cockatoo, and we suspect that if your husband reads our column, he will know you have written to us. But under these circumstances, we don’t believe that will be harmful. Since we do receive quite a few requests for information about “pet custody,” we will try to answer your specific question first and then talk about “dividing up the pets” in general.

As you know by now, cockatoos require almost constant attention, and when they bond, it is usually with one person. Because they require a significant time commitment and physical attention to remain happy and healthy, it would appear to us that, all other things being equal and based on your description of your lifestyles, your husband would make a big mistake taking this bird if he intends to be gone for days at a time.

Because these birds can be destructive and become very neurotic if they are locked in their cage, apartment living may not be the best choice for Sara. And large birds may be excluded by the lease.

You and your husband should try to settle this issue since you both give a hoot about Sara. That said, just when we thought we had figured out everything folks could possibly fight over, up pops custody of and visitation with family pets. In fact, there is a website dedicated to helping people who want to win custody of, or visitation with, their pets. (www.petcustody.com). This site gives you information about pets from premarital agreement language and guardianship to visitation and custody.

And for those of you who can’t get your pet custody and visitation issues resolved amicably, family court judges will inevitably have to get into the fray and decide what is in the best interests of the family pot-belly pig. Whether pet distribution is part of equitable division or actual custody, findings may vary from judge to judge. But it’s certainly more involved than dividing up the china. And there will be no pet support, at least in the near future.

SoloFact: With pet custody and visitation cases on the rise, more esoteric animals and reptiles will become involved. Many of these pets – like the cockatoo that has a life expectancy of 70 years or more – will require estate planning too; however, only a few state legislatures have authorized pets to be the beneficiaries of trusts. We believe that this issue will be on the rise, too.