Question: During a domestic dispute late last year, our 27-year-old daughter was pushed down some stairs at their apartment by her husband. She has been in a coma ever since. Her husband says it was an accident and claims she fell, but we don’t believe him. He has not been charged with any crime.

The doctors say that our daughter’s chances for recovery are bleak. She is breathing with the aid of a respirator and is being fed through a tube in her stomach. And to make matters even more complicated, she is pregnant and is expected to deliver in April or May.

Because her husband was trying to have a say in her health care decisions, we fought him in court and finally got appointed as our daughter’s guardian. In doing this, we thought that we would also be the guardians for our unborn grandchild, but the court says we are not. This could mean, we guess, that our son-in-law could get custody of the unborn child. We are preparing for our daughter’s death, but want the baby with us. Our lawyers tell us there is nothing more that can be done at this time, but isn’t there something wrong with this picture?

Answer: While we agree that something is amiss, we don’t believe there is anything that can be done about the unborn child until he or she is born, at which time, according to what we understand to be the law, he or she will be a "person" as defined by the law -- unless the law of your state reads differently.
In other words, even though your daughter does not have the capacity to make decisions for, and provide prenatal care for, your unborn grandchild, unless a fetus is defined as a "person" by the law of your state of residence, there does not appear to be any authority for the court to appoint anyone to take a position for the fetus – even though treatments for your daughter might interfere with the health and care of her unborn child.

This means that if your state follows the "born alive" rule that sets birth as the moment at which a fetus constitutionally has rights, there is probably nothing you can do until the child is born. However, if your state of residence takes a more progressive approach as have some courts, the judge could well justify a finding that regardless of the specific wording of the law, the State has a legitimate interest in preserving and protecting the health of not only pregnant woman, but also unborn children. However, even in this event, a problem will arise if the health of your daughter conflicts with that of the fetus. In this event, one person could not represent both positions.

Once born, you certainly have the right to bring a custody proceeding regarding your grandchild. The fact that you were appointed as guardians for your daughter despite the priority a husband has in these proceedings should benefit you in a custody action.

Question: My stepfather of 27 years treated me like one of his daughters and promised to adopt me, but he never did. Then he left me completely out of his will because “children” was defined only as blood relations. Is there a way that I can get my share of the inheritance that was promised to me since I was the only one who took care of him when he was dying?

Answer: While "equitable adoption" may be an available remedy in some states, they are few and far between. And even if you live in one of these states, the burden of proof is significant. It may be, however that you would have a claim for services against the estate. Unless a lawyer is willing to take your case on a contingency basis, we would suggest that you "chalk this one up" to experience and get on with life, which, as you can see, isn’t always fair.