Question: I have been married for eight years, and each year seems to get worse due to my wife’s increasingly bizarre behavior. At first, I thought she was expressing her individualism, but as the years have passed, she has quit or been terminated from 12 jobs and has averaged working six months each year. At public and employment-related events, she curses and disparages me. She refuses to cook or keep the house up, or even to take my dirty clothes to the laundry. She went into a separate, locked bedroom four years ago. When I try to sleep because I do work, she plays loud music all night because she sleeps all day when she is not working. She has also bought power tools and used them to chop up our furniture. She allows her dogs (four of them) to defecate and urinate throughout our home, and leaves it to me to clean up. She has thrown objects through the sheetrock walls, and then screams at me for not making enough money to keep a nice house for her.

I have tried to get her to counseling, but she refuses. I saw a lawyer who told me that he believes she has a mental disorder that could excuse her actions, and that if I leave her, I will have to support her for the rest of her life. I am a pretty laid-back guy, but I am getting sick of this kind of life. If I leave, though, I sure don’t want to support her for the rest of her life. I have been reading your column for a couple of years and hope you have some good news for me.

Answer: While the factors governing support may vary to some extent from state to state, there is no question but that marital fault will play some role in a judge’s decision, given the facts of your situation.

Some state courts have ruled that mental illness does not justify or excuse a spouse from marital fault that caused the break-up of the marriage, and have denied alimony. Here, however, there doesn’t appear to be any evidence that your wife’s conduct -- while certainly bizarre – is the result of mental illness because she has refused to go to counseling.

And even if your wife has some mental illness, which we certainly believe, we think it will be difficult to prove to any degree of medical certainty that all of her outrageous conduct was the result of mental illness. For instance, while she was working, the problems appeared to continue.

We suggest that you take photographs and a video of your home to be able to show the judge what you have been living with; bring a contractor and cleaning service into the house to get bids on the cost of repair; make a list of those who have witnessed your wife’s conduct; get all of your personal papers and clothes packed; move out; and hire a good lawyer.

Even if you are required to pay some support, possibly for some time-limited period, we believe that peace of mind is worth the cost of the ticket.

SoloFact: Several weeks ago, we wrote about the effect on divorcing couples of the failure of pensions of large companies, but under-funding pensions is not limited to large corporations. State employees are also at risk because the pensions of 45 of our 50 states are under-funded by $260 billion when considering assets and benefits due to current and future retirees.