Question: At my husband’s suggestion, rather than hiring lawyers we used what he called a “neutral lawyer mediator” to help us get our assets divided. We both work and have no children, and he told me that I did not need support. Once we had a deal, in order to save us money, this lawyer told us that for an additional $1,000, he would prepare the agreement so we could sign it and also the divorce papers, which showed my husband and me as going to court without lawyers. We paid him a total of $1,400 to mediate ($700 each), and agreed to pay another $500 each.

My husband and I went to court to get divorced in January of this year without lawyers, but I now have some questions about the way our assets were divided and my not getting support, because I lost my job two months after we were divorced and don’t think I got a fair shake. I told my ex-husband that I was going to see a lawyer about voiding the agreement if we could not work it out, and he suggested that we go back to the “mediator” so the “mistakes” could be ironed out. Is this kosher?

Answer: We don’t think so! We don’t think the lawyer-mediator should have helped prepare either your agreement or the divorce pleadings because, in effect, he took a fee as a mediator and then took another one as a lawyer from both of you. This is not appropriate because of irreconcilable conflicts of interest. First, the lawyer-mediator handled mediation for two unrepresented individuals during which process he was bound not to counsel either of you or give you legal advice. Then he changes hats, appears to have represented both of you, and allows you to waive support under questionable conditions.

Both common sense and the rules of the profession tell us that when a lawyer acts as a mediator, he or she should be prohibited from representing any party to that process. And a lawyer acting in the dual role of representing two people who have adverse interests is a “no-no” in the profession -- even if you both agreed to the joint representation. The problem is exacerbated by you and your ex being advised to appear in court as not being represented by a lawyer.

Yours is a good example of why each side of a matrimonial matter should be independently represented by a competent attorney. You should not go back to the source of the problem for answers to your concerns. You need your own lawyer who can give you independent advice about your legal rights or responsibilities.

SoloFacts: (1) Failure of a spouse to make full financial disclosure in a mediation that led to a court-approved property settlement agreement can lead to a civil action for damages based upon fraudulent inducement to enter into a settlement agreement. (2) Visitation with children has been awarded to stepparents who are found by the court to stand in loco parentis to a child -- unlike grandparent visitation, which is governed by specific state laws and a decision of the United States Supreme Court.