Question: During the latter part of our 30-plus-year marriage, I inherited an interest in real estate, securities, and cash from my parents. Soon after the estate was settled, my husband convinced me to sell my real estate interests to my siblings and liquidate my securities because I could do so without paying capital gains taxes. My husband always handled our finances, so I did it. Then he told me it would help us in retirement if I would take my money and pay off the debts on our home, cars, etc. so we could have “financial breathing room.” He said to put all of the proceeds into our joint checking account so we would have records of the payments, which I also did. He suggested that the comparatively small amount left should be put into a joint CD, which I also did.

Not 60 days after my inheritance made us “debt free,” he left me and is living with his secretary. I have learned that he has been seeing and supporting this woman for years. I didn’t know when I used up my inheritance that my husband was committing adultery or consulting with a lawyer. Now I’m told that I don’t have a legal leg to stand on to get back the inheritance I used to pay our debts. My husband also says that I need less support from him because there is no debt. This does not seem fair since I was tricked.

Answer: Matrimonial cases are decided on what is called the “equity” side of the court. Equity has such maxims as, “Where there is a wrong, there is a remedy” and “You have to be just before you can be generous.” While we don’t know if the law of your state will afford you a remedy, it would appear that a compelling argument can be made for the return of your inheritance. While inherited assets received by a husband or wife during marriage are “non-marital” property and not divisible at the time of divorce, the character of these assets may be changed -- or transmuted -- into marital property under certain circumstances. For example, using an inheritance to support the marriage may show an intention to make non-marital property marital. Likewise, placing non-marital property into joint names or commingling it so that it becomes untraceable may cause transmutation. In all instances, however, whether non-marital property has become transmuted depends on the facts of each situation.

Here, since your inherited property was contributed to the marriage shortly before your husband left you, and at his insistence to further his illicit relationship and reduce the amount he otherwise would have to pay you, a judge may well find that you were duped into making transactions that would benefit your husband in these proceedings -- and not the marriage. Since family courts are courts of equity, we believe your lawyer should rethink his position and seek return of your inheritance.

SoloTips:

1. Since decisions in matrimonial cases are based on the facts presented by your lawyer and your spouse's lawyer, your credibility is important. Be honest.

2. Matrimonial lawyers present your side of the facts to an impartial judge who will decide your case. This process takes time, and no one can fix 20 years of problems overnight, so be patient, but persistent.

3. Never discuss with anyone the communications you have with your lawyer or you will lose the attorney-client privilege.