Question: I’m preparing to marry for the fourth time (heaven only knows why), and want to ensure that what’s left of my assets is protected if we happen to divorce. Most of what I have (and had) came from lottery winnings, and I expect to inherit more from my parents. I had premarital agreements with my second and third wives, but while I was drinking, they talked me into putting property into their names, so I lost a lot of it. My lawyer says he can’t protect me from myself, but I am 59 and need some guidance here.

Answer: Most who tie the knot for the third or fourth times use premarital agreements that should be prepared with an eye to both divorce and death. While we agree that your lawyer can’t protect you from yourself, depending on the nature and extent of your assets, there may be a way to do just that, but you’re probably not going to like it.

Before marrying, look into creating an irrevocable living trust and placing your assets into that trust for your benefit during your lifetime and, at your death, for the benefit of others. The property placed in the trust would be managed by a third person - a trustee - through whom your instructions would be carried out. In your case, we suggest a corporate trustee. We also suggest that the corporate trustee be limited in the sums that can be distributed to you under the terms of the document.

In this way, while making sure your assets are tied up and unavailable for claims, the trustee would be authorized to make distributions according to a fixed budget. Because of many potential taxation and other issues, including protecting you from yourself, we suggest that you think long and hard about this Spartan plan or about remarrying.

Question: My husband and I divorced four years ago and spent a fortune on lawyers, accountants, and other "experts" -- only to settle our case right before we went to court. But we've been back to court three times, each costing us plenty. Our kids are messed up and are getting psychiatric help, and the cost continues. It was all so nice when the judge signed that final decree.

Answer: Join many of the 2.3 million people who strive for and get that final decree each year -- and unwittingly open a Pandora's Box filled with more long-term chaos than they ever anticipated. In reality, "final divorce" is a contradiction in terms. Many of the 9,000 people who celebrate their final divorces today will re-enter the court system in the coming years to handle the multitude of "ion's," that is, the modifications, terminations, clarifications, and interpretations.

The important financial and emotional issues created by divorce don't go away with the stroke of a judge's pen. But often, litigants don’t look far enough ahead to realize that so long as there is a payment to be made or a child to be visited, things can -- and will -- change. This means that their soured, but now terminated, relationships must continue, like it or not.

In the final analysis, divorce is a business decision. That’s why it's wise for a couple going through a divorce -- or contemplating it -- to sit down and decide upon goals and objectives beforehand, and then make sure their plan is implemented by their lawyers.