Question: My wife and I have been divorced for almost a year after a two-year marriage. In order to save money, we didn’t use lawyers and instead went on the Internet, found an agreement that seemed to suit our purposes (we have no children), included a paragraph that she was to get the house (equity about $15,000), the furniture, and her car, and we both signed it.
She filed for divorce against me and we went before a judge who asked if this was our agreement. He granted the divorce and made the agreement a court order.

Now I have learned that I have a problem: While my wife got the house, its contents, and her automobile, I am the person solely responsible for the mortgage on the house ($125,000), the furniture loan ($16,500), and her car loan ($21,500). I found all of this out when I tried to buy a house and furniture of my own and learned that my credit was slammed.

There is nothing in our agreement or court order that says what each of us is financially responsible for. I need to know what to do in order to get my name off the mortgage and the loans or get something that says I am not responsible. She has been making the payments, and they are current, but I believe she thinks she is obligated, and if I let her know I am on the hook, she may stop paying. If she stops paying, I am sunk. If I don’t get the debts out of my name, I am sunk. Either way, I am sunk. What can I do?

Answer: One of the biggest problems folks going through divorce face is the realization that third-party creditors – that is, holders of liens on houses, furniture, and automobiles – have no incentive to allow a spouse to be relieved of the debt. Even if both spouses sign on the line, why turn one loose when there is no economic motivation to do so?

Even if your spouse agreed to make the payments and didn’t, while she might be in contempt of court, you would be getting the calls and letters from the bill collectors because family courts are not in the business of debt restructuring and have no jurisdiction to interfere with obligations between you and your creditors.

Had you seen a lawyer, you could have negotiated the house so that either your ex would refinance the house in her name or the property would be sold, the mortgage paid off, and the equity divided. In addition, efforts should have been made to have her automobile and the furniture refinanced or, at a minimum, she should have assumed the debts. It would be a lot easier for you now if you were facing just $38,000 in debt (furniture and automobile) rather than the $163,000 now on your plate.

The lawyers’ fees that you were so concerned about a few months ago pale in comparison to the $163,000 in debt that has your name all over it. We reiterate our usual advice: the only way anyone should go through a “do-it-yourself” divorce is if the marriage involves no children, no debts, no assets, and no income.

Taking the NextStep: Your only salvation, we believe, is to hire a lawyer before the court order is more than a year old and seek to have it set aside based on mistake -- because clearly, you made one.