Question: After nearly 25 years of marriage, my husband announced that he wanted some time to think about our relationship, and he moved into an apartment. He is still working, and our biggest assets are his pension and 401 (k) plan. He also has several IRA’s. Before he told me he was leaving, he brought home some papers he said I needed to sign so I could remain covered on his health plan. I was so upset at the time that I did not pay attention to what I signed. Now I’m concerned that he will take my name off these accounts. I have not yet seen a lawyer. What is the first thing I should do to protect myself?

Answer: Go to an experienced matrimonial lawyer immediately because you may well have signed documents that affect what you describe as your “biggest assets.”

Under “The Retirement Equity Act of 1984,” federal law gave spouses of workers greater rights in their mates’ pension benefits, including the right to receive an award of a former spouse’s pension. Unless waived in writing, the working spouse’s pension would be paid as a joint and survivor annuity to the worker and his/her spouse. However, because the cost of the survivor annuity reduces the amount of the primary pension, husbands and wives living in an “intact” household sometimes chose for the non-working spouse to waive the right to receive the survivor annuity and, on occasion, to purchase life insurance that would cover the survivor.

While banning assignments of pension benefits, this federal law created an exception in the divorce setting to allow for a division of the pension with the non-employee spouse through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). A QDRO is an order issued by a state court that allows for child support, alimony, and/or property rights to be paid to what is called an “alternate payee” – that is, a spouse, child of a former spouse, or other dependent.

A court-ordered alternate payee must pay income taxes on pension benefits received, and has the same rights as the employee does as a beneficiary of the plan, including the right to receive payments in any form in which the benefits could be paid to the employee.

Since your husband can change the beneficiaries of his IRA’s without your permission, we believe, under the circumstances, you should seek help immediately to protect your future interests.

Question: After my wife and I separated, we were able to resolve all of our differences through negotiations by our lawyers except for how my pension will be divided. I would like to keep my pension and give her other assets, while she wants the security of knowing she will receive a check every month when I retire in six years. We are both 59. We are at a stalemate that threatens all we have been able to accomplish.

Answer: Assuming your company pension is financially stable (which is the first question you and your wife should address), the next question is whether the other assets that can be placed on your wife’s side of the ledger will reasonably be calculated to generate sufficient income to replace what she would receive from your pension over her life expectancy. It appears to us that this is a financial question that could best be answered by financial and investment professionals; however, in today’s uncertain times, assets in hand may well be more valuable than an employer’s promise to pay in the future.