Question: When my husband and I divorced in 1999, we had a court-approved settlement that obligated him to pay me alimony for ten years, to support and college educate our son, and to continue insurance on his life of $250,000 with me as beneficiary so long as the payments are due. Until two months ago, he made payments like clockwork, but then they stopped without notice. I finally called his new wife who told me that he is on hospice and dying of pancreatic cancer, and that she and their young daughter are having a difficult time. I am unable to support myself and complete the education of my son without his help, but, because he is so sick, I don’t want to take court action.

I talked to a lawyer, but I can’t decide what to do. If he dies, will we be entitled to payment of these funds from his estate? What about the life insurance, as I have never received anything from the company? I would feel like a heel taking him to court now. What can I do short of that?

Answer: The questions you ask should be answered by your lawyer who has had the opportunity to review your documents; however, because the issues you raise could affect our readers, we have several observations.

First, no matter how you try to handle this delicate situation, you and your son could come out losers. Since the death of the paying spouse generally terminates obligations to provide support and alimony by law, your first order of business should be to have your lawyer 1) review the terms of your agreement to make sure that it is binding on your husband’s estate – assuming he has not transferred everything to his new wife, and 2) get information about the life insurance.

Since most terminally ill individuals create or modify their estate plans before they become incapacitated, it is absolutely necessary that you find out where you stand, particularly since your ex has a wife and young child. So long as the lines of communication are open with your former husband and his new wife, try to discuss the situation to see if there are ways in which it can be resolved.

Your agreement should have provided for you to receive proof of life insurance and premium payment each year or quarter, and you should find out now if the coverage is in place, and how much, and with which company. Assuming the policy is still in place, if your ex can no longer afford the premiums, we believe you should try to get the policy transferred to you and then borrow the money to pay the premiums.

Not taking action is not without risk. If your ex transferred everything out of his name – or if his new wife has an appropriate durable power of attorney, he may leave no estate - and this could put you and your son in messy and complex litigation with his widow and their young child. On the other hand, his estate could be drained because of the expense of his last illness. And, he could have changed the beneficiary of the policy he was to maintain for you.

Although the decision is difficult, we believe that, illness or not, this situation needs immediate attention for your protection and that of your son.