Question: After more than two years of separation, my divorce was final six months ago. Although we were married for 17 years when we separated, I became so exasperated with the whole mess – constant delays, continuances, etc. -- that I agreed to take custody of our two children, accept guideline child support, waive my support rights, and accept $10,000 and a small division of furniture rather than hold out for the nearly $40,000 I was entitled to -- all just to get on with my life

Although my ex agreed to all this, and even though the court papers state that he had to comply within 30 days, he has refused to give me my furniture or pay me my $10,000, and is already late on child support. I have tried to talk to him, but he says he will comply when he’s ready. I went to the court, and they told me to contact my attorney. After having paid my attorney for two years to lose money, I don’t want to involve her further. How can I get what the court told me I could get without again paying an attorney? Had I known I was not gaining anything by giving up my fair share, I would have thought twice about it.

Answer: The pervasive problem of unwarranted delays in Family Court is more serious today than it has been in years due to ever increasing caseloads and the failure of state legislatures to fund sufficient judges and staff to meet the growing need. The cost to you, and therefore to the court system, is ultimately passed on to the taxpayers. So, people like your former husband who take advantage of the backlog to make a sick point as part of some “I still control you” mentality should be dealt with harshly.

When a judge tells a party to do something, the order should be clear and specific as to date, time, and place of compliance. Instead of providing that your property should be turned over to you within 60 days, given your husband’s history of antics as you describe, maybe your lawyer should have insisted on setting a specific day and time. And, in order to assure compliance, the order could have included self-executing provisions to assure that if the act was not performed in a timely manner, you would have been able to contact the police to assist you or to bring the matter back to the court without expense to you. For example, had the order allowed you to file an affidavit with the clerk about non-compliance, the court could have issued a rule to show cause for contempt.

Given the situation in which you find yourself now, you appear to have little choice but to get a lawyer, but only after you write your former husband a letter detailing your efforts to get the property and timely support, his statements in response, and suggesting several alternate dates and times for you to pick up your property and your $10,000, preferably on a weekend when you know he will be home. If he does not respond, go to his residence on the first date with a witness and a video camera and try to get your property. If you don’t get it, seek a contempt hearing and attorneys’ fees. We don’t believe that any judge would take kindly to the type of behavior that your ex is engaging in.