Question: My wife and I separated recently, and I was just about to hire a lawyer when a friend gave me an article that promotes “going it alone” in divorce court to save on huge attorney’s fees. Since my wife and I own very little and have only one child, and since I’m rather intelligent, I think I may be better off doing it alone than having to “swim with the sharks.” Knowing that you promote lawyers, I bet my friend that you wouldn’t print this question, much less answer it.

Answer: You lose, and maybe not just the bet if you choose to handle your own case. There is no question but that the air of mystery that once surrounded the professions -- including law and medicine – has been disappearing as more Americans demand to be informed about their options and to be included in the decision-making process.

"Informed consent" - the requirement that physicians first apprise patients of all treatment options and alternatives and then help the patient make the best decision – has fast been transported to the practice of law. Lawyers should want their clients to be informed in the process so that, together, they can find more cost-effective ways to bring cases to conclusion.

People hire lawyers for two main reasons: Expertise in legal procedures, and familiarity with courts, rules, and personnel. While the client should want to be involved in the process because it's his or her future everyone is talking about, the client also bears the ultimate risk of the consequences of the case as reflected in the results.

If you’re willing to bear the risks, you are certainly free to set yourself adrift in the ocean of misery known as "family court" without help from a lawyer. We believe, however, that you may find much more dangerous creatures out there than the "sharks" that concern you.

We think your best bet would be to learn your options, then enter into a relationship with a professional who is in touch with your needs.

Question: My husband and I have been separated for nearly a year this time, the third in as many years. He is seeing another woman, but this time, he’s been supporting me and our children voluntarily. We both have seen lawyers, and I’d like to try to reconcile, but my lawyer insists that a lawsuit be filed first for my protection. Doesn’t filing for divorce contradict my husband and me going to counseling and trying to reconcile?

Answer: In many states, the filing of a suit for divorce or separation "vests" the property rights of a spouse and sets the date of property valuations. To sit back and not file an action might mean that your share of the divisible assets would be lost or diminished, especially if you and your husband have the history of marital problems you describe. He could, for example, waste away your assets on his girlfriend, and you could find yourself without an appropriate remedy.

We believe that your lawyer correctly advised you to protect yourself. While there may be a fine line between protecting yourself and trying to reconcile, you probably never thought you would end up separated in the first place. Whether or not to reconcile involves many considerations -- emotional, financial, and practical. Only you can come to the right decision, but remember that the best predictor of the future is the past.