Question: During our 21 years of marriage, I took care of our three children while my husband took care of the finances. When he left me early this year, I realized for the first time that I was completely dependent upon him. It took me months to come to the realization that he would not do the right thing by me and our children voluntarily. So I borrowed money from my family to hire a lawyer who, in turn, recommended that I hire an accountant. They gave me a lot of preparation to do, but everything seems so out of control. I’m having problems organizing my thoughts and the records I have found. I understand that it will be less expensive for me if I can get this information together, but I keep running into brick walls. Is there a secret to this?

Answer: Successful results in matrimonial cases are directly related to gathering and properly organizing information and records. “Organizing” means the ability to find what you want or need when you want or need it. If you are organized, you are in control. And if you are in control, you can make this otherwise confusing time less chaotic.

Inexperience in the financial arena coupled with the stress that accompanies divorce often results in a tendency to misplace or lose things, and to not be able to get started. That’s why organization is so important.

We suggest that your first order of business should be to establish a system that makes sense to you. Once created, your system can be modified as your needs change. Keep all records and files in one central location so that if you must find something, you’ll know where to look.

If you are computer literate, a scanner is an inexpensive way to store, organize, and maintain your documents. Then, with an inexpensive CD burner, you can provide your attorney and CPA with CD’s that contain your records. You can use accounting programs such as Quicken to maintain your checking records or Excel to list and categorize income, assets, and expenditures and to retain the back-up documents as scans on your hard drive.

If you don’t have a computer or can’t use one, you may want to purchase a small filing cabinet and begin by using one drawer exclusively for your records. Or, purchase a portable plastic or heavy cardboard filing tub. You might also consider purchasing different-color file folders and tabbed dividers in order to color-code your system. You can then use a different color for each major topic to be covered in your divorce case. For example, green for financial issues, blue for child-related issues, etc.

When you begin setting up your system, always begin with broad topics, and title your files in a manner that makes sense to you. For example, under the topic of “household expenses,” you may have files for “electricity,” “cable television,” “minor repairs,” “appliance purchases,” and so on where you will store your receipts. Make sure each file tab includes the year in which each obligation was incurred. After you have reconciled your bank statement each month, place it and your cancelled checks in a file with the name of the bank and the year on the file tab. In this way, there will be a color for each topic, and you will have a system that can easily be expanded when necessary.

It is important to consistently maintain your system rather than let your records stay on the kitchen table for weeks or months at a time. That’s why you should file your records as quickly as possible.

Even if you have a good memory, you should also use a card file, a daily time calendar, or even a spiral notebook to keep records of whom you talk to, when, and what was said. As part of the organizational process, you should keep a list of questions and ideas for your lawyer so that your phone calls and office consultations will be productive and worth the money you are paying for advice. If you use a notebook, be sure to date each page for future reference. A word of caution: Make sure your filing system does not fall into the wrong hands by keeping your records in a safe place, preferably locked.