Question: I am in my second marriage. I am 52, and he is 63. I sold my house and put the proceeds into the home where we live that is titled in both of our names. He has three children by his first marriage, and I have two.

Over the past year, my husband has become increasingly aggressive with me. He pushes and curses me all the time. I have been awakened in the middle of the night with him standing over my side of the bed just looking at me. I am scared out of my wits. He won’t let me go along to doctor’s appointments, and the doctors won’t talk to me because my husband won’t authorize it. I did find a prescription for Aricept, which leads me to believe he has some kind of dementia. He has been somewhat forgetful, but I attributed that to getting older.

I moved into another bedroom, but he took the lock off the door. I have tried to talk to him, but he won’t listen. He has a completely different personality. I have tried to talk to his children, but they won’t listen either because they think their father hung the moon.

I am afraid for my life. Since I invested everything in the house, I have no money, and he made me quit my job. I have nowhere to go. I talked to a lawyer who told me that he didn’t know how he could help. Please e-mail me.

Answer: According to studies we have read, aggressive and violent behavior among Alzheimer's patients can be caused by a combination of paranoia, agitation, and depression that sometimes come to the forefront as the disease cripples the mind and distorts one’s view of events.

For example, a person with Alzheimer’s disease may believe he or she is being attacked if someone comes into his or her room, and acts out accordingly. While aggressive Alzheimer's patients are not willfully causing harm to others, their conduct is a challenge that many facilities are not willing to take on.

While your husband may be a long way from institutional care, nursing homes were designed to care primarily for people with chronic, long-term medical problems of the body, not the mind. But some estimate that two-thirds of the residents in these facilities suffer from some form of dementia, and a large percentage of them are very challenging to care for.

The more challenging the care, the less likely an individual will be admitted. And if admitted, the more likely the facility will discharge the disruptive individual for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which is potential liability should another patient be attacked and hurt.

While there do not seem to be statistical studies that outline the extent of this problem, as the numbers of seniors grow and as medical technology results in longer lives for those with this illness, the trend is expected to get worse.

That said, if you are getting no cooperation from the family and you are put in fear for your life again, we suggest that you consider calling 911 and reporting domestic abuse which, at least for a while, may remove your husband from the home. Then you can contact an attorney versed in these areas about what to do. It is unfortunate you can’t get anyone’s attention and must resort to drastic measures.