Based on a rash of recent reader requests for information on the following topics, here are the answers:

ALIMONY: If you are separated and operating under a temporary order or were recently divorced and are paying or receiving alimony under a divorce decree or agreement, you must consider the tax implications of the payments for your upcoming 2008 federal and state income tax returns.

Alimony payments paid under a divorce or separation instrument are deductible to the payor and taxable to the payee if certain requirements are met. Any payments made that are not required by that decree or agreement will not qualify for deductions and will not be taxable to the receiver. Therefore, before you sign an agreement or consent to an order, make sure the “magic words” are contained in the document.
Alimony payments received from a spouse or former spouse are taxable in the year received. Because no taxes are withheld from alimony payments, the recipient is responsible for making estimated tax payments or increasing the amount withheld from his or her paycheck.

CHILD SUPPORT: Child support is never deductible to the payor or taxable to the recipient. If your divorce decree or other written instrument or agreement calls for alimony and child support, and you pay less than the total required, the past due payments will be applied first to child support, with the remaining amounts considered to be alimony.

CHILD CUSTODY: In the past, most states adhered to the "tender years" doctrine, namely that without serious fault on the part of the mother, the custody of children age five and under was awarded to the mother when the parents divorced. Today, in most states, this rule has either been rejected entirely or relegated to the role of tie-breaker if two otherwise fit parents request custody of their preschool children. No state now requires that a child be awarded to the mother regardless of the fitness of both parents. Most states require their courts to determine custody on the basis of what's in the children's best interests, without regard to the parent's gender.
As it turns out, many divorcing parents agree that the mother will have custody after a separation or divorce, and that the father will exercise reasonable visitation. This sometimes happens because the parents agree that the mother has more time to deal with the child's daily needs. However, if there are two working parents, this is no longer the case. Gender stereotypes should no longer be an obstacle. If both parents work outside the home and the children have after-school care, parents are generally on an equal footing. In fact, if a working father has more flexible hours than the mother, he could have a leg up. In any event, the judge should look at what's best for the children.

CHILD SUPPORT AND VISITATION: Child support should not be confused with custody and visitation. Every parent has an obligation to financially support his or her children. With one narrow exception, no state allows a parent to withhold support because of disputes over visitation. The exception? If the custodial parent disappears for a lengthy period so that no visitation is possible, a few courts have ruled that the non-custodial parent's duty to pay child support may be considered temporarily suspended. No matter the circumstances, if you believe that your ex-spouse is interfering with your visitation rights, the appropriate remedy is to go back to court to have your rights enforced rather than stop making support payments

PREMARITAL AGREEMENTS: Stay away from matters other than financial in premarital agreements, as this will only lead to trouble. For example, we suggest not including provisions about who will take out the trash, birth control, rules about unborn children’s names, vacation spots, and future pets. If you can’t deal with matters like this without an agreement, you probably shouldn’t get married in the first place.