How To Begin Getting Prepared ForDivorce

The first step toward gettinganswers about your separation and divorce is finding out theright questions to ask -- before you go to a lawyer, if at allpossible. The earlier you begin your planning, the better. Nomatter where you are in the process -- divorced, separated, inlitigation, just thinking about your options, or planning to getmarried -- the best time to begin to plan the rest of your lifeis NOW. 

You can't afford to leave anythingto chance because nothing is more difficult than trying to changethe economic details of a divorce -- after it is over.  Ifyou don't organize and plan now, important details will slipthrough the cracks.

First, separate your emotions fromthe practical issues you must face.  Get a clear picture ofyour future needs.  Get organized and focus on the importantissues. 

Then buy a notebook.  Writedown all of your questions and concerns before you meet with yourlawyer.  Then give your lawyer a clear understanding of yourneeds and goals so that an effective strategy can be planned andyour lawyer can concentrate on what's important to you.

In descending order of importance,list the goals you would like to achieve.  And those youthink your spouse would like to achieve.

Write a brief, frank history ofyour marriage with dates, employment histories, illnesses anddisabilities, and other relevant information.  You shouldalso document the contributions and sacrifices both you and yourspouse have made during the marriage.  Try to be fair inyour appraisals, not one sided, although you may feel thatway.  Your lawyer needs a balanced approach in order toarrive at an objective appraisal of your case so you can beadvised properly.

Begin preparing your budget. Review your checking records for the past two years.  Thencategorize and list the deposits and monthly expenses.  Noteexpenses which may be paid semi-annually or annually...likeproperty taxes and insurance.

List all benefits provided as aresult of employment---yours and your spouse's---such aspensions, automobiles, health and life insurance plans, etc.

List all assets you know of. Note when each asset was acquired, its approximate cost, and itsestimated current value.  Use insurance policies coveringyour home and cars, newspaper ads, stock prices, etc. to get someideas about values.  Then itemize your debts. 

Just as you should inventory yourhome and videotape your belongings for insurance purposes,photocopy every financial record and photograph every piece ofproperty.  Then keep the photocopies and photographs in asafe place---like a bank safety deposit box -- until you can getthem to your lawyer.

Now it's time to find a lawyer tohelp you sort through what you have gathered.