Question: After months of bickering, my husband and I decided to divorce. We have two children. It was decided that I would not work outside the home during our nine-year marriage so that I could take care of the children. All assets are titled in his name, and I have not been involved in the family finances at all because I trusted him. He suggested, and I agreed, that we should sell the house and move into an apartment. He suggested, and I agreed, that rather than hire lawyers and waste money, we would begin the negotiations process ourselves and, when necessary, use mediation to iron out an agreement. After several weeks of procrastination on his part, we went to a mediator to try to come to an agreement. My husband’s parents live in another state, and I overheard his end of a conversation with them to the effect that he was getting ready to leave the state to move back near them. We are both in our min-30’s, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have access to money to pay a lawyer. I am afraid to talk to my family because he might find out. Can he take everything with him if he leaves? Where will I live? What can I do?

Answer: Some people use the negotiation and mediation process in bad faith in order to gain a tactical and strategic advantage, and it appears that your husband is one of them. For you to continue down this road to nowhere would be a tragic mistake.

If you don’t have the money to hire a lawyer, borrow from your parents, your brother, your sister, your aunt, your uncle, or a friend. You need good representation now, not later after he leaves. You have enabled him to convert all assets into cash and cash equivalents. If you do not take steps to protect yourself and your children, your husband can conceivably remove every asset you own, including the equity from the house, to another state. If the automobile you drive is titled in his name, he could sell it out from under you. He can strip the bank accounts, move his pension and IRA, move his stock portfolio to wherever he desires

.What to do: After hearing your story, your lawyer will surely bring an immediate legal action against your husband and will seek immediate injunctive relief to keep him from disposing of assets and removing assets from the jurisdiction of the court. In order to preserve the status quo and to avoid irreparable harm to you and your children, the family court can and will issue restraining orders of this nature.

In addition, your lawyer will be able to file notices that the action is pending on all banks and financial services entities in which your husband has funds or, in some instances, make the banks and financial services entities parties to the suit in order to restrain them from allowing your husband to withdraw or move the accounts.
Bottom Line: When it appears to the satisfaction of a court that a party is about to remove his or her property from the jurisdiction of the Court or is about to dispose of or encumber property in order to defraud the other party’s claims to alimony, child support, and division of assets, the judge may issue an injunction to prevent this conduct. Don’t delay in taking affirmative action immediately.

SoloFact: When former spouses discharge a property settlement through bankruptcy, more and more family courts are increasing support and alimony awards after the bankruptcy. Although the argument is being made that this type action frustrates the federal bankruptcy law’s “fresh start,” state courts are basing the additional support awards on the theory that the discharged property settlement is not being recreated, but is being taken in account.