Question: When my husband moved out and I was sure that he was not coming back, I went to see a divorce lawyer who handed me what he called an "income and asset disclosure form" to complete. During our 20-plus-year marriage, I was a “stay-at-home” wife and Mom and was given an "allowance" to purchase groceries and household items. My husband took care of everything financially, and I have no information about the cost of running the house or what he earns. I am now in a panic because I just don’t know where to go. What is the best way to get this information?

Answer: While upheaval in your life sometimes makes it difficult to function, it is absolutely necessary to focus on preparing for your financial future. No matter where you live, at the time of divorce or separation, you will be required to file a sworn financial affidavit, in one form or another, so the court will know what you need and what you have. In order to prepare appropriately, supporting documentation will be necessary.

We think you have access to more information than you may think: First, you are entitled to copies of all tax returns you signed either from your accountant, the IRS, or your state tax commission. And if you co-signed the note and mortgage on your home or bank loans, you are entitled to financial statements and loan records from these financial services companies. If you and your husband co-own bank or security accounts, securities, real estate, or if you own insurance policies, you are entitled to information about them. Your checking records and receipts will give you a record of what it has historically taken to operate your household. And since real estate and personal property taxes are matters of public record, you can get them rather easily. Automobile and homeowner’s insurance costs are also readily available as is the cost of health insurance. Lastly, your utility company has records of -- or can estimate -- your electricity bills, while your local telephone company can provide you with the cost of your local service. If you can get this information, you will be well on your way.

Question: My wife (57) and I (65) were married several years ago, the second marriage of each of us. I own a home, receive Social Security and a pension. She had rather large debt when she divorced and no assets to speak of. A year after we married, she lost her job. Shortly after her health insurance ran out, she became very ill and was hospitalized for more than a month before she died. Her bills continued coming to the house, but, on the advice of a lawyer, I ignored them. Because she had no assets, no children, and no will, on the advice of this lawyer, I did not file her estate; however, the hospital has now sued me for $50,000, claiming that I am legally responsible for my deceased wife’s medical expenses. How can this be?

Answer: Based upon the "necessaries doctrine" which we have written about in the past, providers of necessaries to one spouse have the right to recover payment against the other spouse. Most state legislatures have enacted statutes that provide this remedy, and 29 have gone so far as to make children responsible for their parent's necessaries under certain circumstances. And to make matters worse, a premarital agreement would not have benefited you one bit. We strongly urge anyone who is getting married -- whether for the first or second time -- to make sure that planning for these exigencies is accomplished before you say "I do."