Question: My wife and I are close to separating after nearly 25 years of marriage. Two of our children are in college and the third is a sophomore in high school. She is unemployed. Although I earn a decent income, I have become concerned about not having enough money to pay for everything, still maintain a suitable lifestyle, and be able to retire. Are there any hard and fast rules regarding what I will have to pay as support and alimony?

Answer: No, not really. First of all, there are many different types of alimony -- permanent periodic, lump sum, temporary, rehabilitative, and reimbursement, to name a few. Child support is generally governed by a formula set forth in each state’s guidelines. And rules regarding payment for a child’s collegiate education will also vary from state to state.

Since each state has specific laws that govern alimony, child support, and payment for educational expenses, you should always check these things out with a qualified matrimonial lawyer. But here are some general topics you need to look into:

1. Find out how long each type of payment can last in your state since what and how you pay may well vary your retirement option.

2. Always check out the tax consequences of what you are going to pay or receive. It is too late to plan after the agreement or court order is signed. Make sure your lawyer or CPA explains the tax consequences of all payments to your satisfaction.

3. "Alimony" as defined by state law may not be "Alimony" as defined by the IRS. This means the payments you make to your wife may or may not be tax deductible to you, depending on how the agreement or court order is worded.

4. Child support is not taxable to the receiving spouse and is not deductible to the paying spouse. But there are still questions about dependency exemptions and medical expenses that may affect your tax situation and cash flow. Get informed now so there are no misunderstandings later.

5. If a dependent spouse or a child is disabled, there should be planning for not only education, but also the length of the support obligations. Find which public benefits may be available, and then structure a settlement around these benefits which assures your settlement avoids reimbursement.

6. If you become disabled or die, there should be security so that the payments you are making can be continued. Although Social Security benefits may be available, they may not be sufficient or may not extend for a sufficient length of time.

7. Check into disability insurance, long-term care, and life insurance options.

8. Try to plan for cost of living increases. Some want their payments tied to the Consumer Price Index from the U.S. Department of Labor or other statistical data that can be used to automatically increase (or decrease) payments. While such a provision may save later court appearances, it may also increase payments exponentially over time.