Jan L. Warner & Jan Collins
Question: I read your column entitled "Interview divorce lawyers to find one you can trust" in our local newspaper. While I agree with some of your advice, I disagree that the first step in the selection process is to “interview” the lawyer. I believe that the first step should be proper “selection research.”
If I was to do it over again, I would get a list of “board certified” matrimonial attorneys which, in our state, requires trial experience and compliance with other prerequisites. This would have given me a “short list” of attorneys having a recognized level of competence and aggressiveness in handling difficult cases. I say “aggressiveness” because I found out the hard way that should a case wind up going to trial, you need a focused, aggressive advocate on your side. In my experience, I saw that my husband’s lawyer – who was “certified” -- was very familiar with every angle to be used in court, the personalities of the judges handling divorce cases, and how to get his point across.
My conclusion from my first – and hopefully last -- experience with a court was that a trial is actually decided by the best marketing and sales presentation. That’s why verifiable expertise, which I believe is only available through “board certification,” should be a major up-front consideration in the selection process.
Answer: While we agree with the basis of your assessment, not every state has board certification or specialization available for members of its matrimonial bar. And even in those that do, not all lawyers who could become certified choose to do so.
For 40 years, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers SITE (www.aaml.org) has admitted Fellows based upon testing and experience, and re-certifies them based on continued experience and expertise in the field.
Bottom Line: The more information you can secure up front about a potential advocate, the better your chances of an appropriate result.
Question: When my wife and I divorced three years ago, the judge gave her custody of our two children and gave me weekend visitation, two weeks in the summer, and splits on holidays. The court order says that neither my former wife nor I can have the children around a person other than a spouse after 8 PM.
Since then, my ex-wife has remarried, and I have been living with another woman. My ex took me back to court to cut off overnight and extended visitation. Now, I only see my children on Saturday and Sunday afternoons, twice a month. In addition to being unfair, I don’t think this is in my children’s best interests as they like the woman I am seeing. Is there anything I can do?
Answer: Difficult issues concerning cohabiting – but unmarried – couples is becoming more common. Different states use different standards to decide these cases. Some judges find that cohabitation is a disqualifying factor; while others review all of the facts and decide the case on what is determined to be in the best interests of the children. Since we don’t know what evidence your lawyer presented to the court, we believe that expert testimony from a psychologist would be essential to your case. If you lost and did not appeal, the judge's ruling becomes the law of the case, and you are bound by it.
