Question: I was divorced 15 years ago, have no children, and have no assets other than a car. I have been involved in a monogamous relationship with another woman for the past 12 years. She has a job with a large company, and I stay home. Although we have wills leaving everything to the other, I do not have enough Social Security credits to draw benefits when I reach retirement age, and I won’t be eligible to draw on her Social Security record because we can’t marry. In addition, although her employer provides a health plan for her, I am not eligible to be added because we can’t marry, meaning that she is paying a substantial amount each month for my health insurance.

Here’s my question: We know a gay male couple who are in somewhat the same situation – one of them works and the other stays home. We have been talking about entering “marriages of convenience” – I would marry the male who is employed so I can take advantage of his employment benefits and draw his Social Security at his death, and my partner would marry the male who is not employed so that he can take advantage of her employment benefits and, at her death, draw her Social Security benefits. We do not intend to live with these men or change our living arrangements, only our names, etc. We think this will allow us to “even the playing field”. Will this work?

Answer: A marriage is a sham if the bride and groom did not intend to establish a life together at the time they marry. Since this is clearly your intention, in addition to “not working,” we believe that entering a fraudulent marriage for the purpose of obtaining employee benefits (which are regulated by federal law) and Social Security benefits could land all of you in the pokey for conspiracy to defraud the United States. And, since you would be completing various forms to apply for these benefits, you could also be charged with mail and wire fraud.
Gay couples may not have access to their partners’ employee health insurance, retirement or death benefits. Similarly, they are not eligible to receive taxation benefits or insurance discounts available to married heterosexual couples. In addition, gay couples do not have the automatic authority to make health, financial, and funeral decisions for their partners.

Other benefits automatically available to married couples -- but not gay couples -- include the ability of one spouse to take advantage of insurance benefits through the other’s employer; insurance discounts (such as long-term-care coverage); Social Security and Medicare; veterans and military retirement and health benefits; various income tax deductions, credits and exemptions; community property and equitable division rights; automatic inheritance rights; family leave to take care of an ill spouse; health care decision-making without signing a health power of attorney; and the right to file a wrongful death suit.