Question: Unlike many of our friends, my husband and I have been able to resolve the majority of issues surrounding our divorce. However, we were wondering if there was a way to keep us out of the court system if disputes arise in the future. We talked to our lawyers and looked on the Internet and found basically nothing we thought could help us.

Answer: Even though the “final” decree has been signed, and everyone goes in separate directions thinking it’s over, that’s not always the case because things change after divorce: One or both of you remarry or move. One of you needs more money, or the other can't afford the payments. One of you makes more money and is asked to increase the payments, or the other becomes ill and can't make payments at all. One of you files bankruptcy. And it goes on. Something always comes up that no one expected. Then what happens? Without planning, the process starts over again, and lives are disrupted again.

Child support payments can be increased or decreased. Alimony payments may or may not be modified, dependent on how the agreement or court order is worded. Custody and visitation are always open to change depending on the best interests of the children. Property settlements are generally not subject to change...but can be discharged in bankruptcy.

No lawyer can prepare or negotiate the perfect agreement that will never be modified or will not be subject to two interpretations. And no court can issue the prefect decree. As long as people and circumstances change, there will be the necessity of modifying your documents.
While you can't stop change, you may want to discuss with your lawyer alternatives that may help when change rears its ugly head:

Penalty clauses: If one of you brings an action that is determined by the court to be frivolous or results in less than what is asked for, the party who causes the litigation will be required to pay all expenses and attorneys' fees.

Incentive clauses: Rather than go to court each time there is a financial change, negotiate a disclosure system whereby, for example, if a non working spouse begins working, rather than litigating how much alimony should be reduced, use a formula that reduces alimony by, for example, 25 cents for each dollar earned. Therefore, if alimony is set at $500 per month for an unemployed spouse who later begins working and earns $1000 per month, then alimony would be reduced by $250 per month.

Negotiate alternatives to litigation by which both of you can agree to take many of your disputes out of the court system. This doesn't mean that you don't need lawyers. It simply means that you can agree on the methods and procedures by which disputes can be resolved privately and in less time.

A mediation clause in your agreement can provide both of you with a non adversarial atmosphere where you are in charge of what is happening to you. You and your ex may be able to construct your own agreement, one you both can live with. If not, since mediation is not binding, you can always choose to go to court.