Jan L. Warner & Jan Collins
Question: I was married before, and have been engaged for a little more than a year. My fiancé lives in another state and travels to see me every weekend. We are planning to marry this fall. He tells me about his divorce and his children, but there is something about his story that just doesn’t add up, and this makes me nervous.
Although I feel guilty about doubting him, I have just read about that man in Tampa who had two wives and two families for years without anyone catching on. I don’t want to get caught short. I read in one of your columns that before marrying a divorced person, one should insist on seeing a certified copy of the divorce decree. I would ask him directly, but I’m afraid he would be insulted. How can I get a copy of the decree without tipping him off?
Answer: Divorce decrees are a matter of public record in all states, and are filed in the county where the decree was issued. While some services are offered online to secure public records for you, we can’t vouch for them. We think the best ways to get a certified copy of a divorce decree from another state are: 1) go to your divorce lawyer or another lawyer you know, and ask if he/she will contact a lawyer in the county where your fiancé lives who can send a paralegal, assistant, or title abstractor to the courthouse to get a copy of the decree; or 2) contact an abstractor in that locale yourself.
Either method will involve some type of charge, but the upside of checking it out will be peace of mind for you.
Question: After 30 years of suffering, my wife and I finally divorced. We agreed to a settlement through a divorce mediator. I have remarried and started a new life, but my ex just won’t let go. Eleven months and 15 days after our divorce was granted, she had a lawyer file a motion to set aside our marital settlement agreement, freeze my accounts, and ask for alimony, attorney fees, and costs. She is also asking for her share of accounts that I have managed for a friend for years. Is there any way to stop this insanity?
Answer: Both parties to a divorce proceeding must fully disclose to each other all of their assets and liabilities. Failure to disclose may result in a contempt citation or, in some situations, reopening of the case. Some states allow a case to be reopened for up to five years after a fraudulently concealed asset is discovered.
However, reopening judgments of divorce is very difficult because, if it were easy, litigants who were unhappy with an award would keep coming back to the well. In order to reopen a divorce judgment, there must be extrinsic (or collateral) fraud, as opposed to intrinsic fraud. Extrinsic fraud involves a situation where, for example, the person seeking to reopen the judgment is not able to present his/her case fully because of fraud or deception practiced by the other party – such as one party keeping the other away from the hearing by making false promises. Still, courts generally won’t set aside judgments that were based on a fraudulent document or even perjured evidence. Otherwise, there would be no end to litigation if litigants were permitted to retry the same issue, even if refusal to reopen the case would be an injustice. That’s why it’s important that your lawyer be as thorough as possible when it comes to locating marital assets. Because rules dealing with reopening judgments vary from state to state, see your lawyer for a final opinion.
