Question: My marriage is over, and so I have begun a search for a lawyer, but have been most disappointed. I have interviewed six attorneys, and got the impression from each that my case was a “small asset and income” matter. While it may be to them, it certainly is not to me. Am I missing something here?

Answer: Probably. A professional relationship between a lawyer and a client is also a business relationship. And, as with any business, in order to avoid problems in the future and to provide options to resolve problems, there must be a clear understanding up front.

As with choosing a partner in business--or marriage -- you should take great care in not only hiring a lawyer, but also being diligent, participating in your case, keeping organized records, and being willing to listen and accept options to resolve your problems.

When folks go to lawyers for help in times of stress, it is sometimes difficult to be logical. And while that is human nature, to be other than logical is only inviting problems that will make the original situation worse.

Given the fact that the judicial systems of each state are bogged down and judges are overburdened, you must understand that given the economics, your goals may be unattainable, unaffordable, or both.

Based on what you tell us, we believe that the six lawyers you have interviewed are trying to tell you that your goals are unattainable or unaffordable. While you may have taken it as denigrating your case or your economic status, we believe you misunderstood their messages. We also believe you will increase the chance of being satisfied with results and the resolution of your legal matter if you become more realistic.
No lawyer wants to take on a case where the client has unrealistic goals or doesn’t have the funds to pursue his or her case to conclusion. Therefore, when you retain a matrimonial lawyer, you should be offered a retainer and expense agreement that may vary from one to several pages. The purpose of this agreement is to outline what the lawyer will do and how you will pay your lawyer. This document is most important to the lawyer and to you as a consumer of legal services. Many disputes between clients and lawyers are avoidable if your relationship is very specific at the outset.

There are two ends of the spectrum: You can handle your own case (and somebody once said that "anyone who acts as his own lawyer has a fool for a client,") or you can hire a lawyer to handle the entire case. Another option: you can handle your case and use the lawyer only to review your paperwork.

In a domestic matter, we believe you need a lawyer for his or her expertise in legal procedures and familiarity with the local Courts and personnel. You don't want your involvement to hinder your attorney from using the expertise you are purchasing, but you should be involved because it is your case. You are responsible for the actions of your attorney that are taken in your name, and the degree of involvement you seek will affect the time and money you spend on the case and how well you are informed about what your lawyer is doing.

We believe you should go back to the drawing board, become as fully informed as you can about the process, and become better equipped to make decisions about your case.